I want to know what the potential buyers from House Hunters International do for a living.   I mean, I’m happy for people who can spend $800,000 for an apartment in Italy, but they’re 23 years old and look like retail clerks.  Jealous?  Maybe.

Why can’t scientists genetically engineer a grass that only grows 3 inches high?  You wouldn’t think it would be that difficult.   They’ve come up with giant watermelon and tomatoes the size of my thumbnail, but they can’t muck around with grass?  Is Husqvarna  involved in some giant conspiracy to keep our lawns out of control?

Who came up with the popcorn ceiling and why?  Texture, schmexture, it’s nothing but ugly.  I want to meet the guy who convinced people that this was a good look for any room anywhere.

Remember when the advantage of cable television was that there were no commercials?  That’s why you PAID for television, because you could watch shows, even complete movies, with no interruptions.  Now I’ve got 750 channels, and 494 of them are nothing but infomercials.   Satellite radio subscribers, take note.  This is happening on the radio, too.

I can’t remember the last time I was in a restaurant that offered soft boiled eggs for breakfast.  What happened to soft boiled eggs?

Elephants are huge, and they only eat vegetation.  Lions are lean, and they only eat meat.  Why should I have salad EVER?

Why is there an Easter Bunny rather than an Easter Chicken, or Easter Duck, or some other egg bearing animal?

Why don’t they sell cashews or macadamias in their shells?

Society has decided that a person isn’t responsible enough to drive before the age of 16, vote before the age of 18, or drink alcohol before the age of 21, yet  can retain custody of a child as long as you gave birth to it, even if you were only 12.  Brilliant.

When will we finally have hover travel, like in The Jetsons?

Are airline tickets for flights on 12.13.12 going to be really really cheap?

Why hasn’t someone invented a pillow that stays cool on both sides so you don’t have to flip it over?  Battery operated, maybe, or on a swivel cord?  (I’m claiming rights to this idea, in case any of you try to patent it tomorrow.

Conversely, I have seats that heat in my car, but I can’t get a mattress with built in heat.  Why, oh why am I destined to have a cold arse for the first 30 minutes of sleep?

The national average salary for a high school teacher is $52,000 annually; astronauts range from $65,000 – $100,000 annually; the President of the United States earns $400,000; LeBron James earned $45,000,000 last year.   That’s a head scratcher.

Why hasn’t Jelly Belly made a bacon flavored jelly bean?  How did cappuccino flavor make it to market before bacon?